The Emotional Journey of IVF: How to Prepare Yourself Mentally and Emotionally
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a popular reproduction choice for individuals and couples who are grappling with infertility or simply wish to start a family.
The process, though helpful, is not simple or inexpensive and is usually not the first pick for most people. It can be simplified down to three main phases:
- retrieving eggs
- fertilizing them in a laboratory setting
- transferring the embryos into the uterus
This may result in the wonderful joy of parenthood, but at the same time be a demanding and complex term because of the unexpected mental, physical, and even emotional burdens that surround the people involved.
Emotional Ups and Downs in the IVF Journey
The IVF experience is intensely emotional.
Those going through it also go through different bouts of excitement, hope, anxiety, and frustration in cycles.
This rollercoaster of emotions is not unexpected, considering the physical demands and uncertainties wrapping each stage of treatment.
But you can mentally prepare for these fluctuations and this can make a meaningful difference in how the stress is controlled.
Let’s understand why people may be stressed and emotionally taxed undergoing this process.
Common Emotional Stress Factors in IVF
- Uncertainty About Treatment and Outcomes
For many people, unfamiliar procedures and medical jargon that’s involved in IVF can bring up feelings of fear and confusion.
This uncertainty only brews more during the 10 to 14-day waiting period after embryo transfer.
Most couples going through IVF are troubled about the possibility of failure and are largely nervous about the low success rates.
The suspense of the outcome can be most trying.
Even after pregnancy is confirmed, the fear of an unsuccessful journey ahead lingers throughout the whole process for some people.
IVF usually involves more than one treatment under a single blanket term:
- ovarian stimulation
- egg retrieval
- fertilization
- embryo transfer
These stages can produce major physical, emotional, and financial strains, as couples constantly face apprehension at each stage of these treatments and their outcomes.
For many people, the process needs multiple attempts. This deepens their emotional fatigue.
- Physical Side Effects and Emotional Reactions
IVF treatments are chaperoned by physical side effects, most commonly:
- bloating
- headaches
- fatigue
These are likely to make emotional distress worse. These symptoms, coupled with mood swings, hot flashes, abdominal pain, etc., can make it even more problematic to manage the emotional and mental toll of the treatment.
The constant discomfort may build up anxiety about what might go wrong.
- Financial Concerns
The cost of IVF may be another source of worry for many.
Medications, procedures, and initial payments generally create financial strain – especially for those who lack insurance coverage.
Many couples look for alternative ways to reduce costs, like financing plans and government programs, or consider options like using donor eggs or sperm.
- Feelings of Isolation
Some people going through IVF may feel isolated. This becomes most uncomfortable if they lack a strong support system or face judgment from those around them.
The societal pressure of building a family on top of the pre-existing stress of treatment can sometimes be too much to bear.
Many end up feeling disconnected from their peers or even their partners.
- Challenges in Finding Support
Due to the complexity of IVF, it can be hard to find appropriate emotional support.
Those going through the process may feel that others do not completely understand and appreciate their trials and experiences.
For same-sex couples and single women, finding recognition and support can be even more arduous.
We’ll move next to understand more about these emotional consequences like anxiety, guilt, depression, etc., and how we can handle them.
How Emotional Stress Affects Individuals During IVF
Anxiety and Depression
Feelings of worry and fear are common throughout IVF.
Depression is also common among those undergoing it, which is aggravated by the financial and emotional burden of the treatment.
These psychological concerns are observed as difficulty sleeping, excessive worrying, and feeling dejected. People may even suffer from palpitations and panic attacks.
This heightened anxiety and depression can usher in other emotional challenges like irritability and/or exhaustion.
Those suffering may benefit from taking up self-care practices, for example, yoga, meditation, therapy, or seeking emotional support from loved ones to manage anxiety effectively.
Stress
Stress during IVF manifests physically, mentally, and emotionally as well.
Increased heart rate and high blood pressure are common symptoms that may materialize from the fear of an undesirable fate out of the process.
While the only way through this journey is to patiently wait for an outcome with positive thoughts, it’s easier said than done.
Nevertheless, patients should take part in stress-reducing activities like acupuncture, meditation, or light exercise to keep these symptoms in check.
Guilt and Shame
Many individuals undergoing IVF struggle with feelings of guilt and shame. This is most prominent when treatments unfortunately don’t succeed.
They may feel inadequate or blame themselves for their infertility struggles.
Their mental health may take a beating as a result, and this may impact their relationships and everyday functioning.
Self-help affirmations, CBT, as directed by professional support, can help them work through these difficult emotions.
Dealing With Uncertainty
Uncertainty is one of the most emotionally draining aspects of IVF, but as in all spheres of our lives – we need to accept and acknowledge it.
From hormone treatments to embryo transfers, each step of the process carries its own set of unknowns.
Feeling helpless about the results can be emotionally draining. At this time, it’s best for patients to focus all their energy on what they can control and not worry about fictional scenarios.
It’s also important that they seek support and clarity from their medical team.
Frustration
The entire IVF process can feel frustrating, especially for those who have been struggling with infertility for quite some time.
Frustration can lead to physical symptoms like headaches and weariness, as well as psychological ones such as irritability and anger.
Couples must take steps to communicate with each other and spend time on activities that help them unwind.
Preparing Mentally and Physically for IVF
Understanding the Process
Those who suffer from anxiety find themselves repeatedly playing the worst-case scenarios in their heads. These may or may not be accurate. Knowledge is a powerful tool to counter unhelpful and unproductive thoughts.
Before starting, patients should familiarize themselves with each phase of the treatment – this would include potential side effects and even the odds of success.
Having a clear understanding of the process can help build more confidence and set realistic expectations.
With the right guidance, you can be mentally prepared for the worst as you plan for the best without it taking a toll on your general health.
Focusing on Health
While many aspects of IVF are beyond one’s control, individuals can still take charge of their health to an extent to improve their chances of success.
The following basic efforts can help better one’s reproductive health:
- eating nutritious foods
- staying hydrated
- exercising regularly
- ensuring adequate sleep
Making these small lifestyle changes can have a huge positive impact on the IVF process.
Staying Organized
The IVF process involves numerous medical appointments, medications, and tests.
Being organized can cut down on stress and make sure that nothing falls through the cracks.
Using a notebook or phone app to track questions, record cycle results, and monitor emotions are examples of some actions that can be taken to provide a sense of control over the situation.
Mastering Medication Injections
Injecting fertility medications can feel terrible at first, but with practice, patients can become comfortable with the process.
As you get more familiar with it, you’ll find fewer unpleasant surprises down the road, and you’ll know how to overcome the difficult stretches.
Watching instructional videos and asking questions to the fertility team can make patients feel more assured when administering medications.
Financial Planning
The cost of IVF can be substantial, and smart financial planning is needed to handle it.
Patients should be clear about their insurance coverage, co-pays, and out-of-pocket expenses before getting started with the treatment.
Understanding what to expect financially can help avoid unpleasant traps later in the process.
Protecting Emotional Health
IVF taking a toll on emotional health is a nuanced topic. Some people may find joyous events like baby showers or birthday parties too overwhelming.
It is important for patients to put their mental well-being above anything else at this time and say no to activities that may be emotionally draining.
Building a Support System
Choosing the right people to confide in is advised during the IVF process.
Being with understanding professionals, family members, and friends – who may not know the emotional struggles of IVF themselves but want to hear couples out and give them support – can make a world of difference in how they cope with stress and disappointment.
Maintaining Communication With Partners
Partners may react differently to infertility and IVF concerns, as well as the challenges in the process.
Open communication is critical to being sure that both partners feel supported and understood and are on the same page about decisions.
Identifying triggers and avoiding unnecessary stressors together during IVF can also have a favorable impact on the whole experience for everyone involved.
Compassionate Care for Women
Adore Fertility, based in Charleston and Mount Pleasant, SC, is a boutique, all-female fertility clinic that offers personalized care for women. Our services include IVF, ovulation induction, IUI, and fertility preservation for men and women.
Reach out today to learn more about how we can help guide you through your fertility process.